How to Tell If Your Partner Is a Covert Narcissist
Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. While many people think of narcissism in terms of the classic, “in-your-face” narcissist, there is also a more subtle form known as covert narcissism. Covert narcissists often hide their narcissistic traits, making it difficult to detect their behavior. If you suspect that your partner may be a covert narcissist, here are some signs to look out for.
1. Manipulative Behavior
Covert narcissists are often manipulative in their relationships. They may use guilt, manipulation, or emotional blackmail to get what they want. Pay attention to how your partner responds to conflict and whether they seem to always have a way of making you feel guilty or responsible for their actions.
2. Emotional Blackmail
Similar to manipulation, emotional blackmail is a common tactic used by covert narcissists. They may threaten to leave the relationship, harm themselves, or spread rumors about you if you don’t comply with their demands. Be cautious if your partner often uses emotional manipulation to control your behavior.
3. Envy and Resentment
Covert narcissists can be envious of others’ achievements and success. They may feel resentment towards you for your own accomplishments or happiness. If your partner frequently expresses jealousy or resentment, it could be a sign of covert narcissism.
4. Invalidation
Another hallmark of covert narcissism is invalidation. Your partner may dismiss your feelings, thoughts, or experiences as irrelevant or exaggerated. They may constantly belittle your achievements or undermine your self-worth. Pay attention to whether your partner consistently invalidates your emotions or experiences.
5. Hypersensitivity to Criticism
Covert narcissists are often hypersensitive to criticism. They may react with anger or defensiveness when confronted with their flaws or shortcomings. If your partner has a strong reaction to criticism, even when it’s constructive, it could be a sign of covert narcissism.
6. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist makes you question your own reality. They may lie, distort the truth, or manipulate information to make you doubt your own perception. If you feel like you’re constantly second-guessing yourself or your partner’s actions, it could be gaslighting.
7. Need for Constant Approval
Covert narcissists may have a deep-seated need for constant approval and admiration. They may be overly concerned with how others perceive them and may even go to great lengths to maintain their image. If your partner seems to be obsessed with their appearance, social status, or public image, it could be a sign of covert narcissism.
Recognizing the signs of covert narcissism in your partner can be challenging, but it’s essential for your own well-being. If you suspect that your partner is a covert narcissist, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional. It’s important to prioritize your own mental health and well-being in any relationship.
