What to Do When BPD Partner Pushes You Away
Living with a partner who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be challenging, as their emotional instability can lead to intense relationship dynamics. One common issue that many individuals face is when their BPD partner pushes them away. This behavior, known as “pushing away” or “splitting,” is a defense mechanism that BPD individuals use to cope with their emotional pain. Here are some strategies to help you navigate this difficult situation.
1. Understand the Behavior
First and foremost, it’s crucial to understand that pushing away is not a reflection of your worth or the value of the relationship. BPD is a mental health disorder characterized by unstable moods, behaviors, and relationships. When your partner pushes you away, they are often experiencing intense fear of abandonment and a deep-seated sense of insecurity. Recognizing this can help you respond with empathy and patience.
2. Maintain Boundaries
While it’s important to be empathetic, it’s equally crucial to maintain healthy boundaries. Setting clear boundaries can help prevent your partner from taking advantage of your kindness and reinforce the idea that the relationship is built on mutual respect. Communicate your boundaries clearly and consistently, and don’t be afraid to enforce them when necessary.
3. Encourage Professional Help
Encouraging your partner to seek professional help is a significant step towards improving the relationship. Therapy can help your partner manage their BPD symptoms and develop healthier coping mechanisms. As their support system, you can offer to accompany them to therapy sessions and provide encouragement throughout their treatment process.
4. Practice Self-Care
Caring for yourself is just as important as supporting your partner. BPD can be emotionally taxing, and it’s essential to prioritize your mental and physical well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and seek support from friends and family when needed. Remember that taking care of yourself is not a sign of weakness but a necessary step towards being a better support for your partner.
5. Communicate Openly
Open and honest communication is key to navigating the challenges of a relationship with a BPD partner. When your partner pushes you away, it’s important to express your feelings and concerns in a calm and non-confrontational manner. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory and be prepared to listen to their perspective as well.
6. Seek Support
Finding a support group or seeking guidance from a therapist who specializes in BPD can provide you with valuable resources and advice. Connecting with others who have experienced similar challenges can help you feel less isolated and provide you with a sense of community.
7. Accept That Change Takes Time
Healing from BPD is a gradual process, and change may not happen overnight. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you both work towards a healthier relationship. Accept that progress may be slow and that setbacks are a natural part of the journey.
In conclusion, dealing with a BPD partner who pushes you away requires empathy, patience, and a commitment to your own well-being. By understanding the behavior, maintaining boundaries, encouraging professional help, practicing self-care, communicating openly, seeking support, and accepting that change takes time, you can navigate this challenging situation and work towards a more stable and fulfilling relationship.
