Why Narcissists Hoover After Discard
Narcissistic relationships are often characterized by intense emotional entanglement and a cycle of discard and hoovering. One of the most perplexing behaviors observed in narcissists is their tendency to “hoover” after they have discarded their partner. This article aims to explore why narcissists hoover after discard, shedding light on the complex dynamics of narcissistic relationships.
Understanding Hoovering
Hoovering refers to the narcissist’s behavior of attempting to re-establish contact with their discarded partner. This behavior can manifest in various forms, such as sending messages, making phone calls, or even showing up unannounced. The purpose of hoovering is to rekindle the intense emotional connection that the narcissist desires, while simultaneously maintaining control over the relationship.
Seeking Validation and Avoiding Isolation
One of the primary reasons why narcissists hoover after discard is the need for validation. Narcissists have a fragile self-esteem and require constant admiration and attention from others to maintain their sense of self-worth. When they discard a partner, they experience a loss of validation, which can lead to feelings of emptiness and isolation. Hoovering allows them to regain a sense of connection, even if it is only temporary, and helps them avoid the discomfort of being alone.
Regaining Control
Another reason narcissists hoover after discard is to regain control over the relationship. Narcissists often feel threatened by the loss of a partner and may hoover as a way to manipulate the situation to their advantage. By hoovering, they can exert psychological pressure on their former partner, making them question their own worth and the reasons for the breakup. This manipulation serves to reinforce the narcissist’s sense of control and power.
Feeling of Loss and Fear of Abandonment
Narcissists may also hoover after discard due to a deep-seated fear of abandonment. They may feel that they are not worthy of love and may believe that their partner’s departure is a reflection of their unworthiness. Hoovering allows them to test the waters and gauge their former partner’s willingness to return, providing them with a sense of security and reducing their fear of being alone.
Seeking Closure
Lastly, narcissists may hoover after discard as a way to seek closure. They may feel that the relationship ended abruptly and want to understand why their partner chose to leave. Hoovering allows them to have a final conversation, providing them with closure and an opportunity to process their emotions.
Conclusion
In conclusion, narcissists hoover after discard for a variety of reasons, including the need for validation, the desire to regain control, the fear of abandonment, and the quest for closure. Understanding these motivations can help individuals who have been in narcissistic relationships recognize the manipulative tactics employed by their ex-partners and seek help in moving forward. It is crucial for those who have experienced hoovering to seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals to heal and rebuild their lives.
