What not to say to someone who self harms
Self-harm is a deeply personal and complex issue that affects many individuals. It is crucial to approach the topic with sensitivity and understanding. When someone you know is struggling with self-harm, it is essential to be supportive and offer words of comfort rather than judgment. Here are some things you should never say to someone who self-harms.
1. “Why do you do this to yourself?”
This question can be incredibly triggering for someone who self-harms. It may make them feel guilty or ashamed, which can exacerbate their feelings of distress. Instead, try to focus on expressing empathy and understanding. You can say, “I’m sorry you’re hurting yourself. I want to help you find a way to cope with these feelings.”
2. “You’re just attention-seeking.”
This statement is incredibly hurtful and can invalidate the person’s experiences. Self-harm is not about seeking attention; it is a coping mechanism for dealing with intense emotions. Telling someone they are attention-seeking can make them feel even more isolated and misunderstood.
3. “Just stop doing it!”
This simplistic solution can be frustrating and unhelpful. Self-harm is often a deeply ingrained pattern that requires professional help to break. Telling someone to just stop can make them feel like they are failing, which can worsen their self-esteem and sense of worthlessness.
4. “You’re being weak.”
Self-harm is not a sign of weakness; it is a coping mechanism used to deal with overwhelming emotions. Labeling someone as weak can make them feel even more ashamed and isolated. Instead, try to focus on their strength in facing such difficult emotions.
5. “You should talk to someone about it.”
While it is important to encourage someone to seek professional help, this statement can come across as dismissive. It is better to say, “I think you would benefit from talking to a therapist. I can help you find someone who can support you through this.”
6. “You’re not really hurting yourself, are you?”
This question can be extremely insensitive and dismissive. It is important to take someone’s self-harm seriously. Instead of questioning their pain, offer support and let them know you are there for them.
7. “You need to be stronger.”
This statement can be harmful, as it implies that the person is not strong enough to deal with their emotions. Self-harm is often a response to feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope. Instead, focus on validating their feelings and offering support.
In conclusion, it is crucial to approach someone who self-harms with empathy, understanding, and support. Avoiding harmful statements and instead offering words of comfort can make a significant difference in their journey towards healing.
